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" "I would love to talk to you about that, Josh, but there's something else I want to bring up, and that's this. (Holds up a screenplay entitled "Live For The Moment: The Jeff Hardy Story") I had a friend in a fancy Hollywood agency the other day, and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was paging through it, and lo and behold, it culminates, of course, with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me her tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam. What a great feelgood story, Josh, all except, of course, for the ending, which is not reality-based. It's fake, it's phony, just like everybody who lives in this town. I'd go as far as to say that I'm the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could say it's a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it's worldwide. You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on television; you have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to U.S. Weekly, US Weekly, or whatever it's called, so they can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their own children with their homework; you have little kids all over the world, millions of them, who idolize the "hip, cool star", and it doesn't matter if that hip cool star is some dork vampire in Twilight, or if it's Jeff Hardy. It doesn't matter if that hip cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle. You know, it doesn't matter if the collective intelligence of this entire country continues to spiral downward, day in and day out. It doesn't matter as long as it's cool, right? You know why they don't make movies about a guy like me? It's cause I don't support your poisoned society. I don't support this den of iniquity known as Hollywood. No, instead, I'm dismissed as being preachy, except I'm not preachy—I never have been. I just tell the truth. You know, I'm not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I'll take a stab at it. Tonight I'm gonna rewrite the ending of "The Jeff Hardy Story". It's gonna be horrifying. It's gonna be very, very graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it will have a happy ending: new World Heavyweight Champion—CM Punk.
Phillip Jack Brooks (born 1978-10-26), better known by the ring name CM Punk, is an American professional wrestler. He is best known for his time in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), in which he performed from 2005 to 2014, and in All Elite Wrestling (AEW) from 2021 to 2023.
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[to Laurinaitis] What's the matter? You didn't like that? Huh? Mr. Laurinaitis. Do you find me to be disrespectful? You don't like when I just grab things out of your hand, do you? Well let me tell you what you're going to do about it...absolutely nothing. [Laurinaitis mouths at Punk, "he wasn't part of the match.", directing to Mick Foley] No! You know what...Mick has nothing to do with what's going on right here. It's time we put our ca — no, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO ME! You're gonna man up! You're gonna take your balls out of your purse right now and we're gonna lay our cards on the table. YOU...dont like me, but it has nothing to do with who I am, and if I can be your psychologist for a moment, it has everything to do with who you are not. You see, the people have no idea who you are, and that's because when you were a competitor in sports-entertainment as you like to call it, you had the look, but oh boy, oh boy, did you ever suck! And that must have been really, really difficult, Johnny...your brother being one half of the legendary Road Warriors, and you never amounting to much more than road-kill. See, you were boring, you weren't charismatic, you were vanilla...that's right, BORING! [sets off "boring" chants from the crowd] And it kills you...it kills you that you never made it to this stage, the WWE, as a competitor. So you traded in your lame ass tights, for your equally lame ass suit. You went from somebody who just sucked, to somebody who just sucked up! And now, that you're your corporate yes-man, you take your eyes, and you look at a guy like me and you can't stand the fact that the last year of my career, I've achieved more than you have in your entire life.
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