Recently, my friend Erika called my cell phone. I will never understand why people insist upon calling my cell phone. It's such an aggressive action … - Glennon Doyle
" "Recently, my friend Erika called my cell phone. I will never understand why people insist upon calling my cell phone. It's such an aggressive action to take: calling someone. Each time my phone rings, I have a heart attack like my pocket's on fire and a tiny siren is going off. I'd also like to take this opportunity to address texting. Texting = Better Than Calling. Unless. Unless you are one of those people who doles out texts like IOUs. Unless you believe that whenever you feel like it, you can just poke at me, ping me, jump into my day like Hiiiiii and feel so entitled to a response that the next time I see you, you will arrange your face in an injured manner and say quietly, "Hey. You doing okay? I just never heard back…" At this moment, I have 183 unread texts. Texts are not the boss of me, and neither is anybody who texts me. I have decided, once and for all, that just because someone texts me does not obligate me to respond. If I believed differently, I'd walk around all day feeling anxious and indebted, responding instead of creating. Now that we've established why I have no friends, let's return to Erika.
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Additional quotes by Glennon Doyle
Grief shatters.
If you let yourself shatter and then you put yourself back together, piece by piece, you wake up one day and realize that you have been completely reassembled. You are whole again, and strong, but you are suddenly a new shape, a new size. The change that happens to people who really sit in their pain — whether it's a sliver of envy lasting an hour or a canyon of grief lasting decades — it's revolutionary. When that kind of transformation happens, it becomes impossible to fit into your old conversations or relationships or patterns or thoughts or life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit back into old, dead skin or a butterfly trying to crawl back into its cocoon. You look around and see everything freshly, with the new eyes you have earned for yourself. There is no going back.
Perhaps the only thing that makes grief any easier is to surrender completely to it. To resist trying to hold on to a single part of ourselves that existed before the doorbell rang. Sometimes to live again, we have to let ourselves die completely. We have to let ourselves become completely, utterly, new.
When grief rings: Surrender. There is nothing else to do. The delivery is utter transformation.
Easy" buttons are the things that appear in front of us that we want to reach for because they temporarily take us out of our pain and stress. They do not work in the long run, because what they actually do is help us abandon ourselves. "Easy" buttons take us to fake heaven. Fake heaven always turns out to be hell. You know you've hit an "easy" button when, afterward, you feel more lost in the woods than you did before you hit it. It has taken me forty years to decide that when I feel bad, I want to do something that makes me feel better instead of worse.
I keep a handwritten poster in my office titled "Easy Buttons and Reset Buttons."
On the left are all the things I do to abandon myself.
On the right are my reset buttons, the things I can do to make staying with myself a little more possible.
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