No amount of control will effect a permanent or desirable change in another person. We can sometimes do things that increase the probability that peo… - Melody Beattie

To be happy we need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. I

It’s not my place to tell him to stop drinking,” Shelly said. “But being with him or talking to him when he’s drunk is my business.” That’s the difference between boundaries and controlling. We can’t make a person stop drinking. But we can refuse to talk to or date that person. Boundaries concern our behavior — what we will or won’t do. It’s not a boundary if we can’t enforce it. Be clear. If people have room to misinterpret, they will. People hear what they want to and what causes the least pain. We won’t be clear with others if we’re not clear with ourselves. Sometimes we don’t like their behavior, but we don’t want to lose the relationship, so our boundaries are murky.

As we develop our lives, set our goals, and find things to do that interest us, peace will become comfortable — more comfortable than chaos.