BB: So, who here has a guinea pig? Various Audience Members cheer BB: What kind of guinea pig? Muffled suggestions from audience members BB: Nah, you… - Bill Bailey

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BB: So, who here has a guinea pig?
Various Audience Members cheer
BB: What kind of guinea pig?
Muffled suggestions from audience members
BB: Nah, you're not serious about it! (Imitates guniea pig owners) "I dunno, some brown thing...". So what breed?
Audience Member: Crested!
BB: (misunderstands) A what? A crusty...a crusty guinea pig? (Imitates owner) I think you should take it to the vet as soon as possible! "Gah, it's crusting over again, it's crusting up Captain!!" (understands) Ah, crested? What you have there is a newt I think, madam! Some bloke in a pub sold you that! (as man in pub) "Yeah, that's a crested guinea pig, they're lovely, them..."

English
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About Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey (born Mark Bailey 13 January 1965) is a British musician and comedian.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Mark Bailey
Alternative Names: Mark Robert Bailey

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Additional quotes by Bill Bailey

(On bizarre Conspiracy Theories)
- Countries are actually closer than you think...Pilots just fly aeroplanes around longer to make you THINK they're far away
- There are tiny cameras in ham...They're called 'Hameras'

But we won't have any genetically modified food, oooh no, we won't have any GM. Which is a shame, I think we've missed a trick there. We could develop wheat with the properties of Velcro... to catch whatever it is that's forming those crop circles! But then the spaceship would have to have the corresponding Velcro, so it's a bit of a long shot.

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