To have been always what I am - and so changed from what I was. - Samuel Beckett

أرى الحياة دون أن أعرف ما هي ، حاولت أن أعيش دون أن أعرف ما أفعله أو أحاول أن أفعله ..

And once again I am I will not say alone, no, that's not like me, but, how shall I say, I don't know, restored to myself, no, I never left myself, free, yes, I don't know what that means but it's the word I mean to use, free to do what, to do nothing, to know, but what, the laws of the mind perhaps, of my mind, that for example water rises in proportion as it drowns you and that you would do better, at least no worse, to obliterate texts than to blacken margins, to fill in the holes of words till all is blank and flat and the whole ghastly business looks like what is, senseless, speechless, issueless misery.

الكلمات والصور تعربد مسرعة في رأسي وتندمج فتختلط مع أنفاسي.وحين أخرج أنفاسي تملأ الغرفة بضجيجها،مع إنه صدري لا يتحرك إلا كطفل نائم.