I do not like work even when someone else is doing it. - Mark Twain

When a man can prove that he is not a jackass, I think he is in the way to prove that he is no legitimate member of the race.

Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.

In the cotton States, after the war...the Jew came down in force, set up shop on the plantation, supplied all the negro's wants on credit, and at the end of the season was proprietor of the negro's share of the present crop and of part of his share of the next one. Before long, the whites detested the Jew, and it is doubtful if the negro loved him.