I slept peacefully that night, feeling exultant and determined. Little did I know that I was making the most common and the most painful mistake women have made all throughout the ages: to naively think that with their love they can change the man they love.

كيف يمكن أن يكون الناس بهذه الدرجة من السذاجة ويتوقّعون أن الحبّ سيفتح لهم جميع الأبواب؟

Over the past number of years, various women have accused me of behavior that has been hurtful to them. While I am not guilty of everything I've been accused of, I confess to being guilty of this—I have treated relationships with women far too casually, in some cases even recklessly. My behavior has been destructive and sinful. I've sinned against God, against women and the people who I love the most. I have violated my own Christian beliefs, convictions and values, and have hurt many people in the process. I am sorry for the hurt and pain I have caused these women and will continue to seek their forgiveness. I have also hurt the name of Jesus and have sought His forgiveness.

I thought today's women were independent and had a lot of sexual freedom. ... Well, I guess they fooled me.

Women are often under the impression that men are much more madly in love with them than they really are.

The error all women commit. Why can’t you women love us, faults
and all? Why do you place us on monstrous pedestals? We have all feet of
clay, women as well as men; but when we men love women, we love them
knowing their weaknesses, their follies, their imperfections, love them all
the more, it may be, for that reason. It is not the perfect, but the imperfect,
who have need of love. It is when we are wounded by our own hands,
or by the hands of others, that love should come to cure us – else what use
is love at all? All sins, except a sin against itself, Love should forgive. All
lives, save loveless lives, true Love should pardon. A man’s love is like that.
It is wider, larger, more human than a woman’s. Women think that they
are making ideals of men. What they are making of us are false idols
merely. You made your false idol of me, and I had not the courage to
come down, show you my wounds, tell you my weaknesses. I was afraid
that I might lose your love, as I have lost it now.

Individuals of both sexes have fallen into the error of believing that it is only men that have the right to use their freedom as they please.

I would prove to the men how mistaken they are in thinking that they no longer
fall in love when they grow old — not knowing that they grow old when they stop
falling in love.

My worst mistake has been not grasping that time goes by. It was going by and there I was, set in the attitude of the ideal wife of an ideal husband. Instead of bringing our sexual relationship to life again I brooded happily over memories of our former nights together.

If you depend on the widespread lover's delusion, 'With my love he or she will change,' you have little chance to help yourself. This delusion is external control to the maximum. If things are not good from the beginning, they are very likely to change, but not for the better.

The thing is, some girls think they can actually change guys. And what’s funny is that if they actually did change them, they’d get bored. They’d have no challenge left. You just have to give girls some time to think of a new way of doing things, that’s all. Some of them will figure it out here. Some later. Some never. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

an apology to past lovers:

i wasn't ready
to treat you well

i didn't know love
was meant to be selfless

i didn't know my pain
had control over my actions

i didn't know how far away
i was from myself
and how that distance
always kept us miles apart

(blind heart)

One of the things I’ve realized is that there are harmful assumptions about women. When I started in my leadership role, people expected me to be a no-nonsense, super tough person who would drive my subordinates to work at any expense, even though they had no basis for that assumption.

We are less forgiving of female mistakes in general.