He pulled away, but his eyes held my eyes like hands. - Miranda July

They wordlessly excused each other for not loving each other as much as they had planned. There were empty rooms in the house where they had meant to put their love and they worked together to fill these rooms with high-end, consumer-grade equipment. It was a tight situation. The next sudden move would have to be through the wall.

He stood right in front of me and pinched my arm and said, Can I see your room?

Such relief. Even the pinch was good. I understood completely about needing to hurt someone at the same time that you are giving them something.

I was wondering if my life, the life in which I had a son and a beautiful, young girlfriend, could exist outside of the hospital. Or was the hospital its container? Was I like honey thinking it's a small bear, not realizing the bear is just the shape of its bottle?