In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like h… - John Mulaney

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In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.

John Mulaney

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About John Mulaney

John Edmund Mulaney (born 26 August 1982) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer.

Also Known As

Alternative Names: John Edmund Mulaney

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J. D. Salinger Louis C.K. David Sedaris George Carlin Tina Fey

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I like having a puppy that's a bulldog, 'cause it's like having a baby that is also a grandma.

From an early age, I tried to be funny for the adults. [...] I think I thought and feel still that I have to provide that in order for people to like me.

How dare you clap? How dare you clap for the worst financial decision I ever made in my life? I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn't.

In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin. - John Mulaney

About John Mulaney

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Additional quotes by John Mulaney