Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.

If showing movies in theaters wasn't Hollywood's original business model, it would seem a pretty niche idea. Pay to watch a movie at a set time in a big room with a bunch of other people? Someone proposing this would have a hard time getting studios to take the idea seriously.

Nothing is real until you put it in the VCR.

I say to you that the VCR is to the American film producer and the American public as the Boston strangler is to the woman home alone.

Big Shiny Films in your Dinky Little Home

On some rare occasions I do go to cinema theatres abroad. But if you really ask me I would rather watch a film on DVD all alone in the dark environs of my car or my home.

I got into Living in Bondage which metaphorsed into what we have today as home-video, I was in the Yoruba movies, the 36mm celluloid.

One does not attend this movie; one enlists in it.

to the experience of being fully immersed in a film and then suddenly realizing that you are sitting in a theater watching a mere play of light on a wall.

People here always want to grab a simple camera and a table light, get their cousin and shoot a movie. You can’t say that’s wrong, but it’s not cinema.

Audiences who have been forced to wade through the thick middle-class padding of more expensively made movies to get to the action enjoy the nose-thumbing at "good taste" of cheap movies that stick to the raw materials. At some basic level they like the pictures to be cheaply done, they enjoy the crudeness; it’s a breather, a vacation from proper behavior and good taste and required responses. Patrons of burlesque applaud politely for the graceful erotic dancer but go wild for the lewd lummox who bangs her big hips around. That’s what they go to burlesque for.

Sure, and that's the cool thing about DVD: you can pack stuff on the disc that would've been too much for the big screen because actually it would've only interested yourself and a bunch of fanboys, who wanna know everything.

When you think about it, going to the movies is bizarre. Hundreds of strangers sit in a blackened room, elbow to elbow, for two or more hours. They don't go to the toilet or get a smoke. Instead, they stare wide-eye at a screen, investing more uninterrupted concentration than they give to work, paying money to suffer emotions they'd do anything to avoid in life.

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.