To remember that I used to like avocados with a touch of walnut oil only adds to my shame. - Mark Forsyth

It was after an incident such as this that my friends and family decided something must be done. They gathered for a confabulation and, having established that secure psychiatric care was beyond their means, they turned in despair to the publishing industry, which has a long history of picking up where social work leaves off.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was a sausage-maker who disposed of the body.

Monty Python is, for reasons best known to nobody, rather popular with computer programmers. There’s even a programming language called Python, based on their sketches.