"Defective" was a big word in our house. Many things were labeled "defective" only to miraculously turn functional once the directions had been read … - Tina Fey

"If a bout of "creepy face" sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal."

I should have known he and I weren't going to make it when for my seventeenth birthday he gave me a box of microwave popcorn and a used battery tester. You know, to test batteries before I put them in my Walkman. Like you give someone when you're in love.

...you can almost hear people’s b-holes tighten. A collective cartoon-mouse squeak of b-hole.