I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dolla… - Larry the Cable Guy

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I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dollar store - toilet paper. (laughs) I might as well have just used the dollar.

Larry the Cable Guy

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About Larry the Cable Guy

Daniel Lawrence Whitney (born February 17, 1963), better known by the stage name Larry the Cable Guy, is an American stand-up comedian and actor. He is one of the co-stars of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, a comedy troupe which also includes Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, and Ron White, with whom he has starred on Blue Collar TV.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Daniel Lawrence Whitney

Alternative Names: Daniel Whitney • Dan Whitney

All quotes from Larry the Cable Guy Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Larry the Cable Guy:

Ron White David Sedaris Dave Barry Lewis Black Yahtzee Croshaw

Additional quotes by Larry the Cable Guy

Actually, you can make pretty good cash on stage without being a comedian or a stripper. My brother once won a talent contest by fartin' the song "Dixie" through an oil funnel. He not only took home 500 bucks, he got to meet Regis after the show. Who says dreams don't come true? (p. 11).

I got so pissed I took a little poll to see if anyone was sick of gettin' taxed as much as I am. I called 100 people one night and here's the results: everyone I polled said, "You dumb ass, it's three o'clock in the morning!" (p. 131).

Good Lord, I went in for a check up the other day and the doctor said "You need to lay off eggs." I go "Is my cholesterol bad?" He said "No, your farts are killing everybody in this room."

I'll tell ya the one thing you don't wanna buy at the dollar store - toilet paper. (laughs) I might as well have just used the dollar. - Larry the Cable Guy

About Larry the Cable Guy

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Additional quotes by Larry the Cable Guy