The harsh reality is that my sequestered twins are advancing in the opposite direction of my earhair. Mother Nature has me by the balls, literally. T… - Brad Garrett
" "The harsh reality is that my sequestered twins are advancing in the opposite direction of my earhair. Mother Nature has me by the balls, literally. They have actually started a race with my ex-wife's tits. And she will prevail, because she will get hers "done" as I continue to disappear into the abyss of recycled toilet brine. In the end, gravity always wins, people. Remember: when you have a heart attack, you fall down, not up. Middle age is upon me, and I don't remember this shit being in the brochure. I have six different doctors on speed dial, and the font size on my smartphone is at ten with a maximum setting of twelve. That doesn't give me much wiggle room for the golden years.
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About Brad Garrett
Brad Garrett (born Brad H. Gerstenfeld; April 14, 1960) is an American actor and stand-up comedian. He has appeared in numerous television and film roles. Garrett was initially successful as a stand-up comedian in the early 1980s. Taking advantage of that success in the late 1980s, Garrett began appearing in television and film, in minor and guest roles. His fist major role was Robert Barone on the CBS series Everybody Loves Raymond, which debuted 13 September 1996 and ran for nine seasons. In 2002, he gave an Emmy-nominated and critically lauded performance as Jackie Gleason in the television film Gleason.
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Alternative Names:
Brad H. Gerstenfeld
•
Bradley Henry Gerstenfeld
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I don't think we're politically correct when we're private. I don't know what politically correct means. I'm just watching this thing going down in Baltimore, all the officers charged in the Freddie Gray death and I just think it's wonderful and sad at the time because this has been happening since the beginning of time in America and if it wasn't for cell phones these cops would be getting off.
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