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As I attempt to describe this pain, words crumble before they can be written on paper. It felt like someone had walked me all the way up to the top o… - Najwa Zebian
" "As I attempt to describe this pain, words crumble before they can be written on paper. It felt like someone had walked me all the way up to the top of a mountain and pushed me off with all their force. At the same time, I felt numb. Perhaps it was denial. Shock. Disbelief. Or maybe the pain was so deep I couldn’t feel its intensity anymore. I felt a tingling sensation all over my body. Like I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t cry. I wanted to yell, but I couldn’t yell. I guess what I really wanted was to change this ending. But I couldn’t. This was the end of the fight. I felt so helpless.
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About Najwa Zebian
Najwa Zebian (born April 26, 1990) is a Lebanese-Canadian activist, author, poet, and speaker. Zebian was born in Bekaa, Lebanon and moved to Ontario, Canada at sixteen during the 2006 Lebanon War. She attended the University of Western Ontario, earning a Bachelor of Science in Biology in 2010 and a Master of Education in Curriculum Studies in 2013. She continued her studies and earned a Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership in 2022. She resides in London, Ontario.
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Additional quotes by Najwa Zebian
You are not confused. You are experiencing a confusing situation. Separate the confusing situation from who you are. If you say “I am confused,” you are implying the confusing situation is part of you. It is not. It is part of what you are experiencing. The answer to the confusion does not lie in the confusion itself. Rather it lies in the ability to step outside of it and see that you are experiencing it instead of it being you. The answer lies in you.
The people you welcome into your home, who you allow to sit at your table, are those who will listen without judgment, without the immediate need to respond, criticize, or analyze. Those who practice, not just show, compassion. Those who, even when they disapprove of your actions or what led you here, will tell you “It must be so hard. I can’t begin to imagine feeling what you’re feeling.” Not people who will say things like “But how did you not see this or that?” or any statement that makes you feel your problem is nothing compared to what they or others are going through.
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