Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota. - Garrison Keillor

To the cheater, there is no such thing as honesty, and to Republicans the idea of serving the public good is counterfeit on the face of it — they never felt such an urge, and therefore it must not exist.

One problem is that here in the Twin Cities it’s hard to find that many freaks — at least, any who care to come on TV and talk about it,” said Fielding. “We don’t have a reliable supply of cross-dressers, hermaphrodites, eunuchs, or geeks. We have plenty of alcoholics, but how interesting are they? They don’t remember anything. This is Minnesota, we’re a journalistically challenged state. I mean, when was the last time a band of Lutherans holed up in a compound with automatic weapons? We don’t have that here.

...life (pause) is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.