You know what I think my best quality is? I think I'm nice to have around. I'd hate it if I weren't around! - Charles M. Schulz

"Let's just say that life has me beaten... So I give up! I admit there's no way I can win..."
"What is it you want, Charlie Brown?"
"How about two out of three?"

"Don't sit there watching TV without your glasses! Do you want to ruin your eyes?!"
"My opthalmologist says that not wearing glasses cannot hurt the eyes even if those glasses are badly needed for adequate vision."
"What does your opthalmologist think of the foreign situation?"

If I were a better artist, I'd be a painter, and if I were a better writer, I'd write books — but I'm not, so I draw cartoons!