Charles M. Schulz Quotes

Happiness does not create humor. There's nothing funny about being happy. Sadness creates humor. Krazy Kat getting hit on the head by a brick from Ignatz Mouse is funny. All the sad things happening to Charlie Chaplin are funny. It's funny because it's not happening to us.

If you are a person who looks at the funny side of things, then sometimes when you are lowest, when everything seems totally hopeless, you will come up with some of your best ideas. Happiness does not create humor. There’s nothing funny about being happy. Sadness creates humor.

"Can't you see me as king of the Hereford ranchers, Lucy?"
"Oh, I can see you, all right... I can see you riding out on your beautiful palomino checking the herd... There you sit, silhouetted against the evening sky... Sucking your thumb and holding that stupid blanket!"

"All I wanted to do was be a hero... But do I ever get to be a hero? All I ever get to be is the stupid goat!"
"Don't be discouraged, Charlie Brown... In this life we live, there are always some bitter pills to be swallowed..."
"If it's all the same with you, I'd rather not renew my perscription!"

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.

"That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!"
"So I suppose you hit him, huh?"
"Rats! I knew I forgot something!"

"Do you think if two people liked the same thing, it could bring them closer together?"
"Certainly... Take classical music, for instance... Two people who shared a love for Beethoven could become very close..."
"How about TV?"

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed.
For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.

I think I've discovered the secret of life — you just hang around until you get used to it.

More health tips: Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Get plenty of rest. And learn to duck.

Tell me what you'll do if you're captured by the coyotes... Well, that might work, but does your mother live near here?

I have underlined words and sentences in one of the Bibles that has always been my study Bible, but when I look at those words and sentences now, I can’t remember why they were underlined. One day I was rereading a short story by Joanne Greenberg, and I came across a long passage that I had marked off, but as I looked at it, I couldn't remember why. Perhaps I had meant to ask her about it the next time we talked on the phone, but now I have no idea what it could be that I wanted to ask her. My Revised Standard version of the Bible is filled with markings, for I have gone through it word for word with study groups at least four times, and of course, I have used it on various occasions to begin speeches. I know that the underlined passages served some purpose, but here and there are verses that have no special meaning to me. It is almost as if a friend had secretly opened the book and made some markings just to tease me. What was the spirit trying to say to me then that I no longer need to hear? Or, what was I listening for then that I no longer care about?

In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.