Nobody pours stuffing like you do, my friend. - David Sedaris

Happiness is harder to put into words. It’s also harder to source, much more mysterious than anger or sorrow, which come to me promptly, whenever I summon them, and remain long after I’ve begged them to leave.

When it happens to you it's a national tragedy — Why aren't the papers reporting this? you wonder. Only when it happens to someone else do you realize what a dull story it really is.

The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in the room and think about shooting myself in the head.