A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The garden is a raging sea, The hurricane is snarling;
Oh, happy you and happy me!
Isn't the lightning darling?

First
Let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder,
This child is a marvel, a matchless wonder.
A staggering child, a child astounding,
Dazzling, diaperless, dumfounding,
Stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed,
A child to stagger and flabbergast,
Bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,
And the only perfect one ever born.
Second
Arrived this evening at half-past nine.
Everybody is doing fine.
Is it a boy, or quite the reverse?
You can call in the morning and ask the nurse.

Professional men, they have no cares;
Whatever happens, they get theirs.