Korean delis, Indian newsstands, Greek diners, and ass-fuckin' parties every night of the week! That's New York, how are ya?! - Andrew Dice Clay

You know, a lot of guys, you know, like, what I'll do, you know, especially in New York - out in L.A., they don't have a subway system. But here they do, and a lot of people don't like it, but I know how to use the subway system. Like, I'll set my alarm clock for 8 o'clock, 'cause I don't even have a day job. This is what I do, you know - but I'll get on those rush-hour trains at 8 o'clock for that 8 o'clock grind...you're passin' every chick in the train, you got your dick lodged behind 400 asses before you hit DeKalb Avenue...you drop a load, you turn around, you're back in bed before 9 o'clock, your day has started.

When you jerk off, you’re saying, “Hey, I care about me.”

[to a fan that called out to him] What'd you yell out?...Mother Goose. So what you're saying is you wanna review 1989?