My work as an activist also involves a lot of media visibility, and it is not easy being visible. The first time I appeared in a national magazine, I… - Nthabiseng Mokoena

This led me to joining NGOs that claimed to support intersex people, I don’t remember many intersex people being supported but in the end I was caught up with policy meetings, legislation consultations, movement politics and eventually we all forgot about the people we were trying to serve. I had to leave and here I am constantly dealing with the guilt of “leaving the movement”.

I really struggled to get clarity from my parents about who I am and, you know, ‘where I come from.

I am so pleased I never had surgery. The people I met, most of them, black and white, who have had surgery as babies, usually have confused parents who the doctors incorrect informed, and the children were subjected to surgery which has ended up being far more traumatic and confusing.” “We have been raised in a world that makes us feel like monsters. My advice to other intersex people is to love and accept. Only then will you make the right decision about surgery. Read and research the situation, meet others like yourself and get in touch with an intersex support group. Surgery is not a magic pill that has no consequences.