A good newspaper is never good enough, but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. - Garrison Keillor

It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my home town, out on the edge of the prairie...

To many Americans, whose only knowledge of the North Star State is that it is intensely cold and populated by Swedes and Holsteins, it will come as a surprise to wake up one morning in 2004 and read in the newspaper, "Half of U.S. Economy Now in Hands of Minnesota".

"I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first."

Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."

He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, "When are you planning to return to earth?"

Soon as I finish this coffee," say Jesus. "Pretty good, isn't it."