I should never have spoken to that dentist. He looked at me with eyes like a dead cobra and said, "You have two defective bicuspids."Up till then I h… - Lennie Lower

I like hotels. I am compiling a brochure on bar-room tactics which may interest you. For instance, always get your shout in first; you never know who else may turn up later. The only exception to this rule is when the other party looks at his watch and says, "Just one quick one. I must get away soon." In that case you let him shout first. After having it, and as he is just going to the door, it is permissable to say, "Sure you won't have another?" Only a dirty dog would say "Yes."When in a team, watch the soda bottles carefully. If they are still half full, it is safe to shout the whiskies. I once had to shout eight whiskies and assorted bottles of soda-water and ginger-ale. I didn't mind the whisky so much, but to be landed with eight bottles of soda-water and ginger-ale galled me. I have never made that mistake since.

A cold plunge is bracing. Have the bath about three-quarters full of cold water. Lock the bathroom door. Slap the water a few times with the open hand and sing "D'ye Ken John Peel" in a loud voice and say, "Phoo! Hah! Phow!" This means that you are actually having a cold bath. Stay a reasonable time in the bathroom and then pull the plug out of the bath and emerge, prancing slightly. I have done this every winter for years and have never been found out yet. But be sure to wet the soap.

But we were speaking of dentists, I think. I shall have to tread softly here. I am at present having some teeth filled. A boring business.