Connie Tucker is proud to announce that she is sweet on Dr. John Sturgis and they are officially a romantic couple. - Chuck Lorre

As I'm sure you know, network television has been undergoing seismic changes. Audiences have so many more choices than ever before, which I believe it's a good thing. The only difficulty is it's hard to measure what constitutes success. In the past, if you enjoyed tonight's premiere episode of Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage, I'd asked you to spread the word. Get some word of mouth going. That's no longer necessary. Now all I need is an algorithm, or bot, or some sort of silicon-based magical genie to secure the future of the show. Hey, Siri! Mm-hmm?

Heads up. I'm only writing this one card for Season 2 of Bookie. The reason is no one, not even my family and friends, bothers to read them. It's not surprising. Max actively dissuades viewers from reading end credits, let alone sticking around to read the mischievous word salad that is a classic Chuck Lorre vanity card. They want you, for their own selfish reasons, to immediately leap into the next episode or, failing that, MILF Manor. So once again, do not bother looking for a new card at the end of the remaining 7 episodes of Bookie. There won't be one. Will the world be a poorer place? I like to think so. If you're hungry for a peek inside my fiendishly clever mind. I still have a show with easily accessible vanity cards on CBS. Ask your grandma what that is and where it can be found.

Back in the days of network television, a vanity card in the end credits was a means by which writer-producers could express their creative dominion over the just-viewed show. It was dubbed a vanity card because vanity was all it had going for it. The actual producer of the show was the company that financed the show - that took the financial risk. The hierarchy was simple, the writer-producer couldn't fire the company, but the company could fire the writer-producer. I can vouch for this because I've been fired. A couple of times. But here we are now in the world of streaming television. On the plus side, a world where end credits are barely viewed by anyone. The viewer is actually encouraged to skip over them and quickly re-engage with another episode, or a different show or movie. Which brings me back to vanity cards. Why on Earth am I writing vanity cards for Bookie? My friends and family won't bother to read them. They might not even be able to find them. One might say, "If a vanity card is written on Max, and no one reads it, was it amusing?" Fuck if I know.