Surround yourself with people who have the same goals as you. Rise together. - James Clear

Explore life from a position of power.

When you believe, "Even if I stay single, I'll still have a great life" … then you are in a much better position to enter a relationship.

When you believe, "Even if I don't get into this school, I'll still have a great life" … then you are in a much better position to apply.

When you believe, "Even if I don't succeed with this business, I'll still have a great life" … then you are in a much better position to give it a try.

Sure, you may want the relationship to work or the business to be a success—and you should give it your best effort—but also realize that if it doesn't work out, you'll be fine. There are many ways to live a great life.

It's not that hard on any given day, but the trick is you can't skip days. Your workouts can be reasonable and still deliver results—if you don't skip days. Your writing sessions can be short and the work will still accumulate—if you don't skip days. As long as you're working, you'll get there.

Problem #3: Goals restrict your happiness. The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals-first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness off until the next milestone. I’ve slipped into this trap so many times I’ve lost count. For years, happiness was always something for my future self to enjoy. I promised myself that once I gained twenty pounds of muscle or after my business was featured in the New York Times, then I could finally relax. Furthermore, goals create an “either-or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. This is misguided. It is unlikely that your actual path through life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success. A systems-first mentality provides the antidote. When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.