Truck driver gets his truck stuck under an overpass, with Engvall watching. - Bill Engvall

Marital sex is kinda like ordering a Civil War chess set through the mail. You get one piece every four to six weeks, you don't know what kind of shape that piece is gonna be in when you get it, but you still gotta pay the handling charges.

On the phone with his wife when the plane he was on stopped after hitting a deer.

My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties. Welcome to my world.