If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask f… - Mitch Hedberg

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If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'"

Mitch Hedberg

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About Mitch Hedberg

Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 30 March 2005) was an American stand-up comic known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Mitchell Lee Hedberg

Alternative Names: Mitch Lee Hedberg • Mitchell Hedberg

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David Sedaris Steven Wright Jarod Kintz Dylan Moran Karl Pilkington

Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg

My hotel doesn't have a 13th Floor because of superstition, but c'mon man... People on the 14th Floor, you know what floor you're really on. "What room are you in?" "1401". "No, you're not. Jump out of window, you'll die earlier!".

My friend said to me "I think the weather's trippy." I said "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy." Then I thought "Man, I should have just said 'Yeah.'"

(From the enclosed booklet) Jamaican Air -- Every flight is the red-eye!

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie. "Come on 'long prosperous life!'" - Mitch Hedberg

About Mitch Hedberg

Also Known As

Additional quotes by Mitch Hedberg