Karl Pilkington Quotes

You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about.

All I'm saying is that old people need to be old people. You need oldness. You need to see old people. You need to go Right, they might have a solution they've been on the earth longer. Quick, we need an answer. How old are yer? - I'm 32 - Well you look 78!

On identical twins - You always get a little snidey one.

Get married, get on with it, email us the pictures, we're happy to have a look.

On homosexuals- I'm still none the wiser as to why they do that - Video Podcast|Video Podcast 5

Ricky: You are the strangest man alive.

Could the world fall?

If there's one thing we haven't cracked yet in human civilsation, we've never been able to make a good wig. I wouldn't want a wig on me.

What do dogs do? Sniff each other's arse. They don't knock about going "Let's try a chatup line."

Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.

The world is getting more and more scruffier, innit?

He got hot, he got so hot his lips fell off.

In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock.

Any problem solved is a new problem made.

Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.