When we select leaders, we don’t usually pick the person with the strongest leadership skills. We frequently choose the person who talks the most. It… - Adam Grant

We mistake confidence for competence, certainty for credibility, and quantity for quality. We get stuck following people who dominate the discussion instead of those who elevate it.

Convincing other people to think again isn’t just about making a good argument — it’s about establishing that we have the right motives in doing so. When we concede that someone else has made a good point, we signal that we’re not preachers, prosecutors, or politicians trying to advance an agenda. We’re scientists trying to get to the truth. “Arguments are often far more combative and adversarial than they need to be,” Harish told me. “You should be willing to listen to what someone else is saying and give them a lot of credit for it. It makes you sound like a reasonable person who is taking everything into account.

Indeed, Cialdini finds that people donate more money to charity when the phrase “even a penny will help” is added to a request.

Character is often confused with personality, but they’re not the same. Personality is your predisposition — your basic instincts for how to think, feel, and act. Character is your capacity to prioritize your values over your instincts.