Good evening, my name is Bill Hicks. I've been on the road now doing comedy 12 years, so, uh, bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time. … I'm kinda tired of traveling, kinda tired of doing comedy, kinda tired of staring out at your blank faces looking back at me, wanting me to fill your empty lives with humor you couldn't possibly think of yourselves.

I always say your number of years in comedy is about your maturity level. When you're doing it ten years, you're like a 10-year-old. Fifteen, you're like a 15-year-old; you're start-- a slight bit of maturity. Twenty years, you're like-- kind of a grown-up, but still completely infantile.

I mean no disrespect to any of our current climate at all, but I have been an actor for almost two decades now, and this is a dream come true to be able to create a network comedy that just makes people laugh…What I love about comedy is that, like music, sports and food, it brings us all together.

I know I've spend a lot of time over the last ten years reassuring everyone that this show does comedy and not journalism, but I think we can all agree that the most important thing we do here is stir shit up.

I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.

I had to wait 110 years to become famous... I intend to enjoy it as long as possible.

I just think my life's been really blessed, because being in show business I've met wonderful people and I've traveled all over the world ... I ain't down yet, and I've had a wonderful life, and I still have more life to go.

I am happy to be here. It’s been a little bit crazy, but I like it,

Everybody needs laughs, so the fact that I've had the opportunity to make people laugh for a living is one of the many blessings that I have received in my life.

It's been a privilege to be here.

We all went to university here and spent the last 10 years living here, and we are among people who live here, who come to the show.

The real motivation of bein' a comedian is if you really love the sound of a laugh. And if you love that, you will never want to stop.

First of all, I want to thank you for having me. It’s such an honor. I have been acting in Africa for more than ten years, with over 30 films and over ten awards under my belt; I will say apart from my talent, my established career in Africa has prepared me for films in Hollywood in terms of experience, commitment, professionalism, the ability to work hard under pressure, I’m a great team player, humble, confident and passionate.

I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.