You can't make cheese from rats. … It's hard enough just milking the little beggars. - Arthur M. Jolly

Spending the day with you has been marginally better than watching mother die of cancer.

No offense to your father, Jim, but let's face it—the man's dead. Dead, dead, dead. Moldering in the ground, being eaten by worms, and...what's that kind of fly that lays its eggs in rotting meat? You know the ones, little white maggots wriggling everywhere. Those.

I thought I would try my hand at sailing. It was too small and kept sinking, so I decided to try a boat instead.