My dad was like the Marine Corps, only instead of tearing you to pieces and then putting you back together, he just did the first part and called it … - David Sedaris
" "My dad was like the Marine Corps, only instead of tearing you to pieces and then putting you back together, he just did the first part and called it a day. I'm sure my father said plenty of normal things to me when I was growing up, but what stuck, probably because he said it, like, ten thousand times, was "Everything you touch turns to crap." His other catchphrase was "You know what you are? A big fat zero."
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About David Sedaris
David Raymond Sedaris (born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor.
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David Raymond Sedaris
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Additional quotes by David Sedaris
I later learn that what I suffered was called blunt force trauma. It's remarkably similar to how I felt after the election, as if I'd been slammed into a wall or hit by a car. Both pains persist-show no signs, in fact, of ever going away. The damage is permanent. I will never be the same as I was before the accident/election.
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