Rather than admit defeat, I decided to change goals. - David Sedaris

that’s what fantasies are for: they allow you to skip the degradation and head straight to the top.

"The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up a calendar and said, "Ladies, you know what this is. Use it. I have scraped enough blood out from the crotches of elf knickers to last me the rest of my life. And don't tell me, 'I don't wear underpants, I'm a dancer.' You're not a dancer. If you were a real dancer you wouldn't be here. You're an elf and you're going to wear panties like an elf.

I had no job at the time and was living off the cruel joke I referred to as my savings.