It's 'Damn you, Jack - I'm all right!' with you chaps.

Jack: What's the matter?

Jack: I'm scared, I'm frightened.

Jack: When they laugh at one of my jokes... it just gets me right here. [Puts hand on heart]

You know what I just realized? Jack Black...Jack White! [points to Jack White]

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. I am Jack's Broken Heart.

Jack: What do you mean, you think? Can't you tell?

Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?

Jack: No, I just want to reach 40.

Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.

Jack's got an arsehole like a clown's pocket.

Jack: When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.

I thought they'd get one of us, but Jack, after all he'd been through, never worried about it.... I thought it would be me.

Hit him again, Jack! He's crazy!