Jack Benny Quotes

Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.

Jack: What do you think of this card I wrote for Don? "To Don from Jacky, Oh golly, oh shucks. I hope that you like it, It cost forty bucks.

Mugger: Look bud. I said, your money or your life.

Don Wilson: [Poking his head through the curtains] Bob, Bob, quick, give me Jack's pants!

Jack: What do you mean, you think? Can't you tell?

Jack Benny: I'm thinking I'm thinking!

Marilyn Monroe: I know, Jack. But what about twenty-five years from now when I'm fifty and you're thirty-nine?

Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?

Rochester: You mean that shiny one with the three points on it?

Thug: You're gonna give us $10,000, or we're gonna break both your legs.

Bob: [about Bing Crosby] He's up in Nevada looking over Boulder Dam - his piggy bank is filled. He's so loaded, you know, he uses Howard Hughes for a bell boy.

Jack: I'm thinking it over!

Jack: Smell?... What do I want with smelling salts?

Don Wilson: Because I had to give him mine.

Rochester: Well, you said you wanted something to make you look nice and tanned.