Mel Brooks Quotes

Hope for the best. Expect the worst. The world's a stage. We're unrehearsed. No way of knowing which way it's going. Take your chances, there are no answers. Hope for the best. Expect the worst.

Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.'''

They make us live in the crap, and now they're taking the crap away? No!

All hell breaks loose because they are doing what the Marx Brothers do, jamming a hundred people into a ship’s tiny stateroom. They are crazy and anarchic, but they still have charm and warmth. They married intellectuality and a brushstroke of wit with their great physical comedy. The Three Stooges were a brilliant combination of timing and earnestness. They are very serious. Their physical timing was impeccable. They never laugh, or break up, or seem to enjoy the violence they inflict upon one another. They left that for the audience. They showed me that comedy is a juxtaposition of textures. Later in my career I got to do a Stooges-like routine with Rudy De Luca in Life Stinks when we slap each other silly. I

Little John: Let's face it — you've got to be a man to wear tights!

King Richard: From this day forward, all toilets in this kingdom shall be known as...'Johns'!

Carl: I want to talk about the impact of the Ten Commandments. Mel: There were more. But they weren’t important. Carl: Can you tell me one? Mel: Certainly, “thou shalt not squint.

Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.

Sheriff Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.

Larry Clinton and his vocalist, Bea Wain,

They seized on that word and with my blessing made a beautiful cabernet sauvignon called Harumph. So if you’re disappointed when you don’t get a “harrumph” out of your audience, you can always buy a great bottle of Harumph wine instead.

Other Street Merchant: Nothing, I have absolutely nothing for sale!

I was in the middle of shooting the last few weeks of Blazing Saddles somewhere in the Antelope Valley, and Gene Wilder and I were having a cup of coffee and he said, I have this idea that there could be another "Frankenstein." I said not another — we've had the son of, the cousin of, the brother-in-law, we don't need another Frankenstein. His idea was very simple: What if the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family whatsoever. He was ashamed of those wackos. I said, "That's funny."

Laughter is a protest scream against death, against the long goodbye. It’s a defense against unhappiness and depression.

Dr. Frankenstein:: Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?
Igor:: [doing a Groucho Marx] Certainly, you take the blonde and I'll take the one in the turban.