Mel Brooks Quotes

Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!

Sheriff Bart: Good mornin', ma'am! And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Old Woman: Up yours, nigger!
Jim "The Waco Kid": [consoling Bart afterwards]: What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers … these are people of the land … the common clay of the New West. You know – morons.

"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb" - Dark Helmet

Sheriff Bart: Where the white women at?

We mock the things we are to be.

Robin Hood: Because unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with a English accent.

Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.

They make us live in the crap, and now they're taking the crap away? No!

"Could be worse ... could be raining."

- Igor

Igor:: Sed-a...
Inga:: Sed-a...
Igor:: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!

We held our breaths for a month and a half until we got word from the Red Cross that he was alive and a prisoner of war. The Red Cross went to prisoners of war and they did a lovely thing, they recorded them saying or singing things and they sent those recordings to their loved ones back home. Lenny loved to sing so he recorded a song called “Miss You.” My mother would put that little cardboard record on every night and cry. Every single night! Finally I said, “Mom, maybe just hold the record? Maybe don’t put it on so much? I mean he’s alive, but it’s depressing hearing him sing every night!” Even though we loved him dearly, truth is he was slightly off-key. —

Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?

Nuit-Saint-Georges, a French pinot noir from a sub-region of Burgundy’s Côte de Nuits. All I can tell you is that it was a profound taste revelation! Ever since that night I have loved

Comedy is a weird but very beautiful thing. Even though it seems foolish and silly and crazy, comedy has the most to say about the human condition. Because if you can laugh, you can get by. You can survive when things are bad if you have a sense of humor.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.