Mel Brooks Quotes

Angel of Death ain't kissing me! I'm full of garlic!

Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz... chicken?!'''

"Could be worse ... could be raining."

- Igor

Igor:: Sed-a...
Inga:: Sed-a...
Igor:: Dirty word! He said a dirty word!

Anytime I could make Carl laugh, I knew I had a winner.

The writing of this book serves as a kind of confession. You, the readers, will be my confidants. I’m going to tell you all my secrets. Things I’ve never told anybody. Things I don’t want anybody to know! I don’t want you to breathe a word of what you find out in this book. Keep everything under your hat! Wait a minute, wait a minute…that might not work. I’m not in a confessional booth, and a lot of you are probably not priests. This is a book!

The movie may be slapstick, but it is not slapdash. It has been conceived and completed as a coherent whole, done in luminously perfect black and white. Everything, most particularly the music, is poignantly faithful to the spirit of old times…. There are Vaudeville jokes that may well be older than Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley herself…but they are spaced along a carefully developed story line which is executed by a team of hugely talented comic actors rather than one-lining comics.

They seized on that word and with my blessing made a beautiful cabernet sauvignon called Harumph. So if you’re disappointed when you don’t get a “harrumph” out of your audience, you can always buy a great bottle of Harumph wine instead.

President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!

If I cut my finger, that’s tragedy. Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die.

Humor is just another defense against the
universe.

Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?

Hope for the best. Expect the worst. The world's a stage. We're unrehearsed. No way of knowing which way it's going. Take your chances, there are no answers. Hope for the best. Expect the worst.

Other Street Merchant: Nothing, I have absolutely nothing for sale!

Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!