Jack Benny Quotes

Bob: [about Bing Crosby] He's up in Nevada looking over Boulder Dam - his piggy bank is filled. He's so loaded, you know, he uses Howard Hughes for a bell boy.

Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy.

Jack: What kind of tiger is that - Siberian or Bengal?

Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?

Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?

Clyde: I wondered why he had his hand on his hip when I shot him.

Bob Crosby: That's like keeping the smog and throwing away Los Angeles.

Mugger: Your money or your life.

Jack: No, I just want to reach 40.

Jack: Gee, I never thought of that.

Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.

Liberace: What do we have for dinner?

Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.

Jack: [out of shot] Darn right I am.

Rochester: That's for me. I can't stand the sight of blood.