Jack Benny Quotes

Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.

Jack: When they laugh at one of my jokes... it just gets me right here. [Puts hand on heart]

Bob: Welcome to the Lucky Strike Program. In just a few minutes, you'll see our star, Gypsy Rose Benny.

Clyde: I wondered why he had his hand on his hip when I shot him.

Liberace: What do we have for dinner?

Don Wilson: Because I had to give him mine.

Rochester: Yes, that's the spot all right. You almost had a heart attack when they laughed at Bob Hope.

Thug: This is a stickup! Now come on. Your money or your life.

Rochester: Well, you said you wanted something to make you look nice and tanned.

Jack: Hey, wait a minute. What kind of make up is this?

Rochester: Well, it went down two points this last year.

Jack Benny: That star has five points.