The Kids in the Hall Quotes

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The Kids in the Hall is a Canadian sketch comedy group, consisting of comedians Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson that formed in 1984. The troupe starred in a television show produced by Saturday Night Live creator Lorne Michaels that ran on Canadian and American television from 1989-1994, produced and starred in the film Brain Candy in 1996, and reunited for tours in 2000, 2002 and 2008. In 2010, the troupe produced an eight-part miniseries, Death Comes To Town, airing first in Canada and then in the United States.

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Raymond Hurdicure (Dave Foley): Sorry we're late Ma, but you know how the kids hate old people.

Buddy Holly (Kevin McDonald): I’m fuckin’ Buddy Holly! That’s who I am!

German Patient: The nipples of Mother Hope have run dry.

Bellini: Thank God that's finally over.

Dave Foley: So when people say to me let sleeping dogs lie, I say to them, friend, sleeping dogs...they eventually wake up...and chew out the throat of democracy!

Chris: Cat on my head!

Cab driver: When I was a little boy, my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.

Grivo: I wanna talk about drugs.
Audience: Heroin?
Grivo: No. Not heroin.
Audience: Speed?
Grivo: No. Not speed.
Audience: Hashish?
Grivo: No, not even hashish.
Audience: (beat) Horse tranquilizers?
Grivo: No. Not horse tranquilizers. I just heard about a drug that makes you happy. I just want to say... (looks at the crowd) ...fuck happy!

Scientist: It was only a couple of Flipper babies!

Dave Foley: I once shot a man just to watch him die, then I got distracted and missed it. Oh my friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

"Daddy" (Dave Foley): All right now, son, I want you to get a good night's rest. And remember, I could murder you while you sleep. It's easy, son, all you have to do is be quiet and willing to do it. And son, I am willing to do it. And, I've got quiet shoes. Good night, son. Sleep well.

Sir Simon Milligan (Kevin McDonald): Now, for those of you with a brave heart and for those of you who have stayed, look into my face and know, to look into my face is to look into the face..of EVIL!

Bruce McCulloch: Now I'm more confused than a horny bisexual at an orgy!

Wally: Tell me, doc... why do those... types, think I'm one of them?
Therapist: Because... you are one of them. You are gay. You-you-you are gay, you are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it, your family knows it. Dogs know it! Everybody knows it but you!

Darill: (to date) You look alarmed! Is it because you find something alarming?