Jack Benny Quotes

Rochester: Yes, that's the spot all right. You almost had a heart attack when they laughed at Bob Hope.

Clyde: Then the animals lit fires to keep us away.

'Clyde:' Frightened. Why, you yellow-belly. Do you want to live forever?

Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.

Jack: What kind of tiger is that - Siberian or Bengal?

Bob: This is rather strange for me, I'm on the major network. [mouths ABC]

Hope: You mean, Jack's actually wearing your pants?

Marilyn Monroe: I know, Jack. But what about twenty-five years from now when I'm fifty and you're thirty-nine?

Jack Benny: We're a little late, so good night, folks.

Jack: [poking his head through the stage curtains] Bob, will you please give me my pants back?

Rochester: I think I cut you.

Rochester: [checking his equipment] Shaving cream, brush, razor, smelling salts.

Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.

Bob Hope: Put your head back through there, or I'll start handing out baseballs to the audience.

Thug: This is a stickup! Now come on. Your money or your life.