Jack Benny

Jack: No, I just want to reach 40.

Mugger: Look bud. I said, your money or your life.

Thug: [repeating] Look, bud, I said 'Your money or your life.'

Jack: I believe in being honest with myself. If there's one thing I hate it's when a comedian is great and won't admit it. I've never met one like that, but if I did, I'd hate them.

Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.

Rochester: That's for me. I can't stand the sight of blood.

Jack: Smell?... What do I want with smelling salts?

Liberace: Would you like to stay for dinner, Jack?

Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.

Jack: Oh, it's not that big a difference. You're twenty-five and I'm thirty-nine.

Jack: What do you think of this card I wrote for Don? "To Don from Jacky, Oh golly, oh shucks. I hope that you like it, It cost forty bucks.

Jack: These last 2 miles were rugged, weren't they?

Rochester: It would help if you bleed a little.

Clyde: You're telling me. What about those first three nights, we had to light fires to keep the animals away.

Jack: Gee, I never thought of that.