"Cut corners and it'll always come back to bite you in the ass." That was one of her sayings. - David Sedaris

"I've become like one of those people I hate, the sort who go to the museum and, instead of looking at the magnificent Brueghel, take a picture of it, reducing it from art to proof. It's not "Look what Brueghel did, painted this masterpiece" but "Look what I did, went to Rotterdam and stood in front of a Brueghel painting!

Either he was suffering a terrible case of gas or he had a pint-size child practicing the trumpet in his back pocket.

The fake slap invariably makes contact, adding the elements of shock and betrayal to what had previously been plain old-fashioned fear.