There's a critical point, when you've stayed single too long, that your brain switches from "No, don't say that" to "Eh, fuck it. Say it, see what ha… - Bill Burr

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful.

Seriously, any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice. – You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"

That's what killed me, when Bruce became Caitlin, that was like, a national news story, like at a ridiculous level. There's like, baby seals washing up on the beach cause there's no fish left, and they're talking to this... lady, you know, like, "So Bruce, can your Olympic back handle a D cup or you gonna go with something a little more perky?"... I miss that guy. I miss him already. He should've told us. He should've given us a chance to say goodbye. I watched him on the Olympics. I watched him on Chips. I watched him on that horrible show my wife watched where he just walks around in the background... And then you couldn't react, you couldn't on any level, you couldn't (be like) "What the f(uck)?" on any level. You couldn't say that or you were automatically homophobic. Like, dude, I didn't hear your inner thoughts. I didn't know what you were doing... You shave your beard off, people are like "Oh my God, that's your chin? Wow!" This guy walked out a dude, came back a woman, and you're just supposed to be like, "Oh yeah, so anyways, Caitlin, (as I was saying)..."