Detaching with Love: October 20 Sometimes people we love do things we don’t like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we’re all reacting… - Melody Beattie
" "Detaching with Love: October 20 Sometimes people we love do things we don’t like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we’re all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates. When do we detach? When we’re hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. When we get hooked into a power play — an attempt to control or force others to do something they don’t want to do. When the way we’re reacting isn’t helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we’re reacting is hurting us. Often, it’s time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do. The first step toward detachment is understanding that reacting and controlling don’t help. The next step is getting peaceful — getting centered and restoring our balance. Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Take a long, hot bath. Call a friend. Call on God. Breathe deeply. Find peace. From that place of peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution. Today, I will surrender and trust that the answer is near.
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Additional quotes by Melody Beattie
If we weren’t trying to control whether a person liked us or his or her reaction to us, what would we do differently? If we weren’t trying to control the course of a relationship, what would we do differently? If we weren’t trying to control another person’s behavior, how would we think, feel, speak, and behave differently than we do now? What haven’t we been letting ourselves do while hoping that self-denial would influence a particular situation or person? Are there some things we’ve been doing that we’d stop? How would we treat ourselves differently? Would we let ourselves enjoy life more and feel better right now? Would we stop feeling so bad? Would we treat ourselves better? If we weren’t trying to control, what would we do differently? Make a list, then do it.
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Remember, decisions don’t have to be made perfectly. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t even have to be nearly perfect. We can just be who we are. We can make mistakes in our choices. We’re not so fragile we can’t handle making a mistake. It’s no big deal! It’s part of living. We can learn from our mistakes, or we can simply make another decision.
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