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Hey, there. How are you doing? If you watch this show regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Yeah, me neither. You know, uh, today? Uh, some… - Stephen Colbert
" "Hey, there. How are you doing? If you watch this show regularly, I'm guessing you're not doing great. Yeah, me neither. You know, uh, today? Uh, some people said to me, "Sorry you have to do a show tonight." Which is nice of them to say, but I don't have to do a show, I get to do a show tonight. I'm so grateful to be with all of these talented people -- those people over here, those people that you'll never see... With the audience in the Ed Sullivan, with you people at home? Because, especially at times like this, what do we most want to be? Not alone. So thanks for being here. Uh, we're gonna do a comedy show, it's a comedy show, we're gonna do some jokes in just a minute. Uh, 'cause that's what we do. And I'll let you in on a little secret: No one gets into this business because everything in their life worked out great. So we're built for rough roads.
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About Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert since 2015. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997). In 1995, Colbert made his TV debut on Comedy Central in Exit 57 and was later on the show Strangers with Candy. Colbert did voice work for "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" on Saturday Night Live as the voice of Ace, and also provided the voices of "Myron Reducto", "Phil Ken Sebben", and "The Eagle Of Truth" on Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.
Biography information from Wikiquote
Also Known As
Birth Name:
Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Alternative Names:
Stephen T. Colbert
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Additional quotes by Stephen Colbert
"Bless me, readers, for I have published. It's been five years since my last book. Greetings, fellow sinners! If you picked up a copy of this book, it means you are either: 1) wracked with guilt and are looking for penance, or 2) need to spend over $10.00 at the airport newsstand so you can use your credit card. Either way, welcome to Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions.
As America's foremost TV Catholic, it was natural for me to do a segment inspired by the church. After all, the Catholic Church and late night TV actually have a lot in common: our shows last about an hour, we're obsessed with reaching younger demographics, and the hosts are almost always men. This religious-adjacent tome contains all my favorite confessions from The Late Show. These are things that aren't necessarily sins, but I do feel guilty about them. For instance, repackaging material from the show and selling it in a book.
I've always been a big fan of confession. The confessional is a great place to go to relieve yourself of your sins. Unless you're claustrophobic, in which case it's a suffocating death trap of despair!
And while most confession books just give you run-of-the-mill mortal sins, I go one step further and provide you with mortal sins, venial sins, deadly sins, and even sins of omission (Notice that the previous sentence didn't have a period!)
This book is a throwback to a simpler life when people would go to a priest to confess their sins. As opposed to how it's done now - getting drunk and weeping to Andy Cohen on Bravo.
Confessing your sins is a great way to get things off your chest. Second only to waxing.
The only downside is that you get introduced to it as a kid, before you have any juicy sins to confess. Oh, you stole a cookie? That's adorable, Becky. Come back when you total your dad's Chevy.
Now you might be asking yourself, "What if I'm not Catholic - can I still enjoy this book?" Of course. After all, no matter what religion you are - be it Jewish, Muslim,
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