O reader, deem me not a sham, For I in purple earnest am! - Victor Daley

Long ago I did discover It was fine to be a lover,
But the heartache and the worry spoil the game: Now I think, like an old vandal, That the game's not worth the candle—
And I know some other vandals think the same.

Ah apple caused man's fall, as some believe; But that old Snake, malevolently wise,
A deadlier snare set when he left to Eve His tongue of honey and mesmeric eyes.

I make or mar. My daring hand
Explores the entrails of the land,
And finds, beneath a greasy hat,
An Austral Homer at Cow Flat.