Did you ever wake up with an erection...and then you realiz… - Zach Galifianakis

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Did you ever wake up with an erection...and then you realize you're just in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

Zach Galifianakis

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About Zach Galifianakis

Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis (born October 1, 1969) is a Greek-American comedian, actor and writer.

Also Known As

Birth Name: Zacharius Knight Galifianakis

Native Name: Zachary Knight "Zach" Galifianakis

Alternative Names: Zacharius Knight Galifinakis • Zachary Knight Galifianakis

All quotes from Zach Galifianakis Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Zach Galifianakis:

Mitch Hedberg Bill Allred Jarod Kintz David Sedaris Tina Fey

Additional quotes by Zach Galifianakis

The only time it's ok to yell out 'I have diarrhea' is when you're playing Scrabble...because it's worth a shitload of points.

Sometimes I order a beet salad, so when the waiter comes and lays down my salad I can say "thanks for laying down those funky beets". It's an expensive joke because I don't even like beets.

I think those neighborhood signs that say 'slow children playing' are so very mean.

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and then you realize you're just in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take… - Zach Galifianakis

About Zach Galifianakis

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