Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away. - Jerry Seinfeld

The best part of a relationship is when you're sick. And the best time to be sick is in a relationship.

I have this image in my mind of what a comedian's supposed to be... that I'm always trying to live up to, and that I always fall short of. [...] I'm the show for the night. I have to make that evening work for those people.

There's nothing like a kiss to get something started between a man and a woman. When the lips meet, this is the official ignition. The instrument panel lights up. The finger moves across, flipping all the toggle switches up. The engines hum. Something is underway.