You ever do a little delete game? Do you like to do that? You go through, you take your contact list, sometimes you're just in the doctor's office ri… - Dane Cook

Next time you're at the airport, right, this is fun to do. You're at the airport, and you see somebody waiting for their flight, okay. They're sitting there, reading the paper, whatever, just chilling out. This is what you're gonna do, just like this. You're gonna walk over to them really slowly. Just walk over, alright, and stand right in from 'em. Don't say anything. Like, wait till they feel you there, know what I mean? When they finally look up at you, just really seriously look at them right in the eyes and go like this, "Don't get on the flight". You know they're sitting there goin', "I don’t think I should get on this fucking flight. I think an angel just told me not to get on this flight. Thank you, angel wearing jeans!"

When somebody gives you directions, don't you get so anal about their directions? They give you the directions and the entire time driving you're just cutting down their directions. You're like this, "Okay, take take a left at the red house." "That's fucking maroon, you idiot!" Why is it the street you're looking for always has a tree from the Mesozoic Era growing around the sign? You're looking for like Mount Vernon and all you see is like the N, and you drive by going, "That was probably it. You think that was it? That was probably it." There's always the point in the directions that they always write in parenthesis, "Uh, if you hit the train tracks, you've gone too far." And right when you read that, [imitates running over train tracks] "Fuck."

I invite her back to my apartment, or as I call it, the "Death Star." I'm still working on it, it's not completely operational.